How can I handle my child's constant requests for expensive things?

How can I handle my child's constant requests for expensive things?

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First of all, you have to decide what your budget is for buying things for your child. Make it what you're comfortable with, and what you actually can afford. Then begin saying no when your child's requests exceed your guidelines. It makes a big difference how you say no, and what happens after you do. A no can become a wedge between you and your child, something that distances you from him, or it can become a way for him to feel closer to you. If you say no and get angry without an explanation and without listening to how he feels about your refusal, then he may feel as if you don't care and don't understand.

But if you say, "I wish you could have everything you want, but you can't have this expensive shirt. We want to spend our money on good food and on our car, and on our house and other things we need for the family, so you can't have that, and I love you." What you want to do is explain. You don't have to give the three-volume explanation, but you should let your child know what your thinking is. He should understand that it's not personal; it's that other needs come before his owning the fanciest pair of shoes. And then you should listen to how your child feels, even if he's attacking you ("You're not very nice! You don't love me"). Listening to it all will help your child feel loved by you again.

The perspective you need to keep as a parent and pass on to your child is that the objects are much less important than your love and attention. It is okay to say no to material things and to listen to your child as he desperately tells you that he won't be accepted or that he can't live without the latest X, Y, or Z. Those are just feelings. The situation is not urgent; he won't die if he doesn't have a certain video or a particular pair of shoes. Letting him cry about his urgent feelings will dispel them; he'll actually feel close to you because you listened to him and understood. The thing that he wanted so badly, after a few good cries with you about not having it, will eventually evaporate in his mind.

If children are able to work through their emotions, they stop feeling deprived and get a good perspective. And it's important for us to encourage this. In our society, the seduction of materialism is very strong and begins at an early age. It's confusing to a child to have his parents believe along with him that if he doesn't have the PlayStation or the latest shoes, his life isn't good. We have to present children a much better perspective than that.

Watch the video: Top KID DANCERS From Across The World! Got Talent Global (July 2022).


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