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Babies are a blessing and a gift, that goes without saying. But what if you are feeling a little bit overly blessed?
One mom in our community is admitting that with a 2 year old and a six month old (and in spite of using birth control responsibly), she wasn't thrilled to learn that she is due with another baby in July 2012. She says "This has totally thrown us for a loop as we were going to wait 2 years to even try, once we had already moved and settled in to our new house. but i am breastfeeding my other baby so my cycles are way off. i still cant believe this is happening. just wanted to know if anyone else feels the same way."
That has got to be hard to admit out loud, especially to a virtual room crowded with newly pregnant women. Of course she's not alone. I've been there.
When my daughter was 3 and my son was about 14 months I conceived while on the minipill. I woke up on a Sunday morning feeling hungover, and thought to myself "that's funny, I didn't drink that much last night." (Does Mamaholic have a glass or two of wine on Saturday night? Oh yes she does. But still.)
I took the pregnancy test and watched that second line appear so so regrettably fast, and then I put my head down on the kitchen table and cried because I couldn't do it. I just wasn't ready for another baby. Of course before long I came around to being thrilled but suddenly the pregnancy was lost. (And that brought on a whole new set of complicated feelings. Fun times.)
Anyone who gets to have a baby at all is the luckiest damn person in the world, I know that, and to women struggling with infertility or loss this must seem like a shallow and foolish problem to complain about. Babies are lovely and warm and squishy and grow up to be funny smart kids, but they can decide to show up at some remarkably inconvenient times and I think an unexpected pregnancy is bound to bring out complicated emotions while adjusting to the idea.
I agree with the member who posted this reply to the discussion. "Try not to feel guilty about your feelings. It is better to feel them and acknowledge them, as opposed to bottling them up and pretending like the don't exist. Hopefully, by continuing to honestly express how you feel, you will work out these hard feelings and come around to some positive thoughts."
I'm confident that this new baby will be loved and welcomed by the time she (or he) arrives, even though her mom isn't so delighted right now. Have you ever just really really not wanted to be pregnant?
Opinions expressed by parent contributors are their own.