My kid is going commando and I don't care

My kid is going commando and I don't care

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Last Tuesday when I picked up a movie at our local library our librarian pulled me aside to let me know Evie, my 2-year-old, didn't have any underwear on. She was dressed in a lovely gold gown from "Beauty and the Beast," sans panties. "We're aware," I told her with an awkward smile, "It's our latest attempt at this potty training thing."

I have been working on potty training with this daughter for several months now. Since we're still working on it you can probably gather how well it's gone. I did not have to try this hard with my first, which gave me the impression that I was some kind of expert. Well, here's a bit of our journey with our second kid that blows that theory right out of the water.

I've been listening to the audio book "Oh Crap! Potty Training" by Jamie Glowacki. Basically everything I've done with my second kid has been wrong. From timing to my word choice to believing I'd just know when she was "ready."

For brevity sake here are just a couple things I have done wrong according Jamie:

  1. Missing the best age to start (24-30 months). Mind you, we had a brand new baby when my daughter was 21 months old and my husband broke his elbow when she was 23 months old. But, apparently that's the best window to start and we kept putting it off until things were less stressful. Now, that she's almost 3 her will is something to be reckoned with and we might have avoided it had we pushed through.
  2. "Trying" rather than "doing" (there is a difference). Trying to potty train isn't the same as just completely being done with diapers and having no other recourse. My oldest grew out of her diapers so it was potty train or else. Evie is smaller and she hasn't grown out of her diapers so we've been more relaxed about this transition. Being wishy-washy about this hasn't produced the results we want so it's time to buckle up and let go of our safety net.

These two things have made potty training so much harder than it needs to be. So now we are fighting an uphill battle and gaining ground by inches. She's a stubborn kid and has such a strong will that I'm daily wondering how to work with manipulate to get what I want. She even rage-peed at me one day. At bedtime she was so mad to be going to bed that she said, "I pee in my diaper at you!"

Her strong will meets up with my strong will and we both lose. I give her a time-out while she's shouting that I'm the one that needs the time-out. I'm just left wondering what I should expect of my almost 3-year-old? Then I try to remember what I expected of her older sister at this age (and I can't).

Should what I expect from Evie be different or have I just handled this potty-thing all wrong this time? Then I realize Annie will be 2 in 10 short months when all of this will start again and I'm equally stressed and happy that this diaper dance could be over inside a year. That just seems almost too much to hope for.

Bleah – all the second guessing and emotions over getting pee and poop in the appropriate places. I even called my husband the other week and said he needed to take point on this because I just don't think I'm getting through to her. Going commando seems to be the only thing going in our favor this days so expect to see a half-clad Elsa and/or Belle coming your way.

Images by Kelly Wilbanks, iStock, and Ali Express

Opinions expressed by parent contributors are their own.


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