Pregnancy this time around was hard on me. I couldn't wait to NOT be pregnant.
I was excited to meet my baby of course, but I was even more excited to just have my body back. Just being honest about that.
At 37 weeks pregnant I started bleeding and headed to triage. While I couldn't wait to not be pregnant I also wasn't ready to meet our baby. I had to be induced due to the bleeding and I was nervous about it. I was afraid, and I also didn't have anything ready except for a packed hospital bag. Oh, and while I'm not terribly vain, I was upset that I would have to miss my planned manicure, pedicure, hair appointment, and massage the following week, you know, to squeeze it all in before baby's arrival.
When the resident told me they were keeping me for an induction because they weree worried about the baby's health, they also told me not to eat from that moment forward. Since I was only 1 cm dilated I knew I had many hours ahead of me before I would meet my baby. The resident walked out of the room and I immediately stuffed my two granola bars in my mouth.
While I went against their advice, I am so thankful I ate in that moment. It would be 24 hours before I would meet my baby and my hunger kept me from relaxing through most of labor.
So what was labor like? Well, after 18 hours of Pitocin I only went from 1 cm to 3 cm. I knew from previous experience (birth #1, birth #2, birth #3) that I really needed to get the epidural and then get my water broken and my baby would be here within a few hours. So I did. I was worried I was getting the epidural too early, but my husband reminded me of my previous births and encouraged me to get it.
The epidural was in and my doctor broke my water. About an hour later I was crying and telling the nurse I didn't feel right. She gave me some tough love and told me to pull myself together . She told me to use my words to explain what felt wrong. I couldn't really express what I was feeling, except that I didn't feel right. I now realize I was going through transition and my body reacted by crying uncontrollably for a few minutes.
Two hours after the doctor broke my water, I asked my husband to come hold my hand. I was feeling a lot of pressure and couldn't take it. He had been dozing and working on and off since he arrived, and he kept squeezing my hand and then sitting back down at his laptop. He and I both couldn't imagine that I was complete and ready to push.
After about five minutes of this back-and-forth dance I told him stay and kept repeating "I feel a lot of pressure. I need the doctor." over and over and over again. I must have said it 30 or 40 times in a row to the nurse and my husband.
Just a few minutes later, the doctor came in and was setting up the delivery tray when I pushed baby's head out. It was three total easy pushes from when the doctor came in to when we met our fourth little, perfect baby.
Daniela was born perfect as can be, with an Apgar of 9/9 and the most perfect little fingers and toes. I was so worried because she was 3 weeks early, but we got lucky and she is as healthy as my 40-weekers were.
I feel as if I never even had a child. I don't know if it's because this pregnancy was extremely painful in comparison, because she was early, or because I got lucky, but I feel completely normal. I'm a little crampy and know I'm about to hit zombie newborn mode, but otherwise I feel fantastic.
I feel so lucky to have had such an easy experience.
I still remember being a small child and drinking tea with my mom while talking about my future. I told her I wanted to have four children and here I am, with four beautiful children.
I can't believe we are now a family of 6!
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