Determine in advance what you need to be able to trust the caregiver: For example, if you have not received training in child care and development, you may be thinking how to trust without knowledge. Specialist Psychologist / Pedagogue from Istanbul Parenting Class Sinem Olcay explains the important points in her care selection.
1. What features should be sought in a caregiver?
Only in terms of child development, the most basic features that a caregiver must have are chatty and kindness. Mental development is closely related to how much speech a child hears. For this reason, a person who spends the whole day with very little speech, lacking verbal communication cannot be an ideal caregiver. In this respect, it would be very useful if your caregiver is a lively person who is free of depressive tendencies. What we mean by caring is that you enjoy playing face-to-face games with your child; daily routine activities such as feeding and sleeping, while being sincere, warm and open to communication. It would be an advantage if you noticed that there was a person who talked about feelings like 'I was upset when you were like this,' I was very happy with this, 'I was so impressed with this event.' As a parent, of course, your personal values are also very important. 'Do we want someone who takes control or someone who strictly applies what we say? "ne How important should hygiene be?, You must also include your personal values as you choose a caregiver. The first step in making the right choice is to determine in advance which characteristics the appropriate caregiver should have according to your personal values. Sometimes, many interviewed parents realize that they clarify the characteristics they are looking for during the interviews.
2. How to find a reliable caregiver? How to decide the right choice?
Determine in advance what you need to be able to trust the caregiver: For example, if you have not received training in child care and development, you may be thinking how to trust without knowledge. Or you might say that I have someone I already know to trust. Or you may feel that you will find it difficult to trust someone who does not have a fixed address in Istanbul, and you may not feel comfortable with foreign carers. Or you might say you can't trust a very young person regardless of their references. Determining what is needed to give the caregiver a basic sense of trust helps you make the right decision.
Once you have established your trust criteria, check the references and ask clear questions to the caregiver's previous questions: 'What features of Serpil Hanım do you like?', 'What did your child like to do with Serpil Hanım?' Is there a feature you do not like? ',' How did you cope with this problem, what did Serpil do, what did you do? ',' Would you recommend Serpil Hanım sincerely? ' You can ask questions like.
3. What are the duties of the mother and caregiver during the child's acclimation period?
In the process of getting used to the caregiver, the child must be present for at least a few weeks with a person such as a mother, grandmother or ex-carer whom the child has previously bonded and trusted. You should not leave your child alone with the caregiver she is not familiar with and is not used to. Be physically close in the process of getting used to your child's caregiver, but try to stay a little second. For example, during the game you should be sitting on the floor with your child and the caregiver, but more often you have a carer who speaks, makes additions to the game, starts interaction. In the meantime, you will have the chance to warn the caregiver if you notice an attitude that prevents the child from getting used to it. It is very beneficial for your child to introduce the child to the caregiver in a caring and positive manner and to show that you love and trust the caregiver. During the acclimatization process, the caregiver should also be understanding, gentle and patient. The caregiver should continue decisively trying to establish a relationship with the child without personalizing the child's negative or shy attitude.
4. Does the baby who spends a lot of time with the nanny move away from the mother?
If you are a working mother, but you regularly spend time with your child, you will be the adult with whom your child has a primary bond. For example, if you have the opportunity to be with your child for 2-2.5 hours a day during the week and spend more weekends with your child, this is healthy for the mother-child relationship. Children have the capacity to connect with others while maintaining the primary bond to their mothers. If your child has another person who loves and cares for him, it will enrich his life and increase his confidence. It can be a pleasant part of your daily routine for your child to return to you from the caregiver and then back to you during the day. If your carer is capable of taking care of your child properly and is a constant person in your child's life, there is no harm in letting your child love her.
5. How can the attitude of the child who cannot leave the mother and not agree with the caregiver be changed?
We must remember that getting used to a new situation is a matter of time. If the carer is capable of taking good care of the child and communicating well with him, he will eventually get used to and love him in front of your child. However, how long this adjustment process will take may vary depending on the previous experiences of the child, how old he is, character traits. The first step in attracting your child's attitude towards the caregiver is that you love and support the caregiver. You should then try to leave your child and caregiver step by step. Your child should both see love from the caregiver and experience that the caregiver puts a limit on him. In this way, a trust relationship will be established between them. As a parent, the most important thing to care about is the continuity of the caregiver. Frequent caregivers both make it difficult for your child to get used to and damage the development of confidence.