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How should death be told to children?

How should death be told to children?


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It is often difficult for adults to tell death to the child. For this reason, the child is often told stories that are not real. However, it is stated that behaving in this way will not be beneficial for the child.

Yeditepe University Hospital Bağdat Street Polyclinic Child and Adolescent Psychiatry Specialist Asst. Assoc. Dr. Oğuzhan Zahmacıoğlu, he states that the method of describing death to the child should guide the child's age and level of spiritual development:
Mak Even in the adult mental structure of death, it is a difficult but manageable process to convey to children a very difficult and complex phenomenon to analyze. We know that children under the age of five cannot distinguish between abstract and concrete, often confuse dreams and facts, and do not understand the metaphor. The age of five is only the starting point. Abstraction will increase until the age of cloudy. Before the adults around the child explain anything to them, they will feel that they are faced with an event that does not like their body language, facial expressions, tears, tone of speech and environment. This is something that even one-and-a-half, two-year-olds can do. Therefore, it may be easier for the adult who needs to inform the child about death, knowing that the child is already prepared for the bad news. In other words, the mental structure of the child has made a spontaneous preparation to receive the bad news. If possible, the person giving information to the child should be the first-degree adult closest to the child. The selected space should be spacious, bright and quiet. During the narration, the adult should take care of being cool, but should not make an excessive effort to suppress his emotions. When transmitting such a sensitive subject, people's voice may tremble and tears may drain from their eyes. These are natural, human, and emotion expressions that are not inconvenient for the child to see. Even if you attempt to tell the death and the cause of death to those under the age of five, you will write your own story, sit somewhere in the world of fiction and imagination, and may not seem to be very interested in your discourse. In this case, it is of no use to be insistent and to bring down the story he has created for himself. The only important point is to make the child feel the fact that the deceased will not come back, regardless of age. He went abroad, on a long holiday, as stories watching us from the sky are absolutely not recommended, as it confuses the child. Children aged five and over can feel the meaning and importance of the graveyard visit and, if they wish, can attend ceremonies under adult supervision. ”

The child swallows mourning

Dr. Zahmacıoğlu underlines that the mourning period is an important step in the mourning and retention of adults after the deceased person.
Gibi Children, like adults, must experience this healthy feeling behind their loved ones. In this process, which may last for up to six months, but different for each child, problems such as sleep, appetite disorders, irritability, anger outbursts, stubbornness, school phobia, distraction, and separation anxiety are frequently observed in school children. Families may experience difficulties during this sensitive transition period. In these cases, they are advised to seek help from a child psychiatrist. ”


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